And I made this:
|The Pie of the Dead|
That's right. I may have actually conjured up the most disgusting thing ever created in any kitchen since the beginning of food and time. My husband took one look at it, and declared it "The Necronomicon of Pies" and begged me to throw it away. I have been lovingly referring to it as simply, "Frankenpie". Jean Nidetch officially calls it...
Fluffy Chocolate "Pie"
1 envelope unflavored gelatin
1 1/2 cups chocolate flavored dietetic carbonated beverage
1/2 teaspoon chocolate extract
1/4 teaspoon imitation butter
few drops brown food coloring
Dissolve gelatin over beverage in saucepan over medium heat. Add remaining ingredients. Chill until slightly set. Whip with rotary beater until thick. Transfer to 9 inch pie plate. Chill until firm. Makes 2 servings.
First of all - how funny is it that Jean Nidetch actually printed the words "Grand Illusions" under the title of this recipe in the 1972 Weight Watchers Program Cookbook? Like this recipe would actually fool anyone into thinking they are eating a real piece of pie.
|A Slice of Hell|
If I served this to any normal person, they would look at me like I had totally lost my mind. They might even call the local authorities to have me committed. And they sure as shit would never eat it. Grand illusions? Um. No.
Also - There are two problems with this recipe.
1 - It is not easy to find dietetic chocolate flavored carbonated beverage in the year 2012.
2 - It is not easy to find chocolate extract in the year 2012.
So I decided to go with diet cream soda and vanilla extract. I wound up with a vanilla flavored Fluffy Brown "Pie" which actually turned out to be a sort of a khaki-grey color. And it really wasn't fluffy at all. And it was frankly upsetting to even have it in my fridge.
What a freaking nightmare.
It didn't taste too bad, but honestly I couldn't get past the horribly freakish color and the truly pitiful state of this dish. To call this a pie is really just a tragedy. I know I have made a lot of crazy-ass excuses for food on this blog, but this is where I have to draw the line.
Some things are just plain wrong.
Have a creepy Halloween! Hope your treats are yummy!