The Art of Beets

First off - let me just start this post with a confession. When I found this recipe in my 1978 Weight Watchers Hot Stuff (Volume 4) Pamphlet, I knew I had to make it. But I fully had absolutely no intention of eating it. Ever.

Truth be told: On certain rare occasions, I will make a gelatin mold solely for its artistic value. Or for the simple pleasure of basking in its jiggly, glistening beauty.

Wow! It actually feels great to get that off my chest.

So when I woke up at 5:30am on a Saturday morning and began boiling eggs, dissolving gelatin and opening cans of beets - I felt a little bit like an artist preparing her canvas.

Beet Salad

1 tsp mayonnaise

1 medium egg, hard boiled

1/3 cup cottage cheese

Lettuce

1/4 cup cold water

3/4 cup boiling water

1 tbsp vinegar

1 tbsp unflavored gelatin

1 tsp cherry extract

1/4 tsp salt

3 tsp artificial sweetener

4 drops red food coloring

1/4 tsp ground cloves

4 oz shoestring beets, drain and reserve liquid

Dissolve gelatin in water, add extract, vinegar, salt, sweetener and food color. Stir in cloves and beet juice. Pour into mold. Let set until mixture thickens. Stir in the beets, Place lettuce leaves on a plate and unmold the salad on them. Top with the cottage cheese, egg wedges and mayonnaise. Chill. Makes one serving.

Now I don't like to brag, but I have some pretty mad molding skills, people. I know just when to add the beets so they'll be suspended perfectly in the gelatin like tiny pink angels.  I know exactly how long to wait for the best mold consistency. I know the perfect ratio of liquid to gelatin for any mold size you can imagine.

And the un-molding? Forget about it. This one popped right out of that mold like a perfect little pink newborn baby. It looked up at me from the plate, did a little dance and said "Howdy Mimi - how ya like me now?"

So how did the finished assembled product turn out, you ask? See for yourself...

Please. Bask in its beauty from all angles.

Extreme close-up. Have a moment with the beets.

Go ahead. Take it all in.

After a few snaps with the camera - my masterpiece is complete. I like to keep it around for a few hours to horrify and disgust my husband before saying goodbye to it forever.

As Andy Warhol once said, "An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have." Well. I guess that makes me a true artist. Because, trust me - NO ONE needs to have this thing. Ever.