Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Coffee Is On

The best way to signal to your guests that the party is winding down, and they should start making their way towards the door is to put on a nice hot pot of coffee. But that's not the case at the Retro Mimi Potluck Party!!! We whip up a gelatinized coffee treat that will keep you zinging well into the wee hours! You can thank my blogger pal, Roz for this Coffee Catastrophe. Enjoy.

Looking to cut back on sweets? THIS is the recipe for you!!!

HUGE thanks to Mimi for hosting this fun roundup, and HUGE apologies to Mimi too! I stuck my hand up and volunteered to be part of this Retro WW potluck at the end of June. This is mid August. I think that time gap says it all, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get 70's cooking!!!! Was it worth the wait? (or the weight???) I'll let you decide!

I present....”Coffee Rum Strata”. TA DA!!!! Excitement level rising!!!!!

And what a stroke of luck. I see on the bottom of the attachment Mimi sent, this was published by Weight Watchers in 1974. In 1974, I was far too young to drink coffee or rum. (OK...probably not that FAR too young, but young nonetheless) Thank goodness this is 2012 and I can enjoy this fantastic recipe! Excitement level even HIGHER!!!

I LOVE coffee, I like rum...this could be RIGHT up my alley!!! Excitement peaks!!

But then....I saw some things I DON'T like....artificial sweetener (LOTS of artificial sweetener!), rum EXTRACT (extract...what's wrong with REAL rum??), non fat dry milk, unflavoured gelatin (LOTS of unflavoured gelatin).....Uh oh. Excitement level going down.....

But like the procrastinating trouper I am (see June-August comment above) I gathered the ingredients and gave it my all. I also made a FEW modifications, as you'll note below. Excitement level a bit neutral now!

Coffee Rum Strata

Jelly Layer

(excitement diminishing again, oh dear...I am NOT a jelly fan for anything other than spreading on my toast. Jello/bouncy things remind me of having my tonsils out when I was little. Hey...that may have actually happened in 1974! I digress.....)

1 envelope of unflavoured gelatin
1 ¾ cold water, divided
2 tsp instant coffee
Artificial sweetener to equal 1/3 cup sugar 
½ tsp rum extract

(I'm NOT a fan of artificial sweeteners at all. If I only needed a few tsps, I may have just “acquired” a few packs from a coffee shop...I didn't want to buy a whole pack, knowing I would just toss it, so I threw caution to the wind and used REAL cane sugar. I KNOW!!! I'm a rebel!!!!)

 I have ABSOLUTELY no idea how/why I actually DO have rum extract in our cupboard. It must have been there since about 1974, 'cause it had very little rum scent when I opened it up. So I made an executive decision. I'll add the rum extract, but I'll also add some BRANDY flavouring too.  

 Booze flavour is booze flavour, right???? . I also contemplated doing a shot of REAL brandy while I cooked, because my excitement level was now pretty depleted. I chose not to indulge in the brandy, and carried on! :) )

1. Sprinkle gelatin over ½ cup cold water in saucepan. Check.

 2. Add coffee. Check

 3. Stir over low heat until gelatin dissolves. Check

4. Remove from heat. Check (no photo really need...looks just like photo above)

5. Add remaining water, sweetener and extract

 6. Divide evenly into 8 dessert glasses 

7. Chill. Check. (Please don't judge the cleanliness of my fridge. Just sayin....)

Mousse Layer
(I KNOW...I have to do this all over again. NOOOOOOO)

1 envelope of unflavoured gelatin
1 cup of cold water
Artificial sweetener to equal ½ cup of sugar (I'm thinking that measure of artificial sweetener may well have now turned this recipe carcinogenic)
½ rum extract (MORE I REALLY need REAL rum!!)
1/3 cup non fat dry milk
1/3 cup ice water
1 tbsp lemon juice
Dash instant coffee

Here we go again.....this part may seem like deja vu at the beginning....

1. sprinkle gelatin over 1/3 cup cold water in saucepan. Check (again) - see photo above

2.  Stir over low heat until gelatin dissolves Check (again) - see photo above

3. Remove from heat. Check (again) - no photo required, see above.

4. Add remaining water, sweetener, and extract. Check (again) - see photo above

5. Chill until syrupy 

DRINK REAL RUM – oh wait...I just added that bit....this is NOT part of the real recipe. But it should be!!!

6. Beat dry milk with ice water until thickened. Check, but omg, this smells gross!

7. Fold into gelatin mixture. Check (but not pretty or for the faint of heart)

8. Spoon, evenly divided on top of jelly layer

 9. Chill until firm

10. Garnish with coffee. (I ran out of instant coffee. Good thing, this would have been a waste of instant coffee! :)

And VOILA!!!! Finished product!!!!! It LOOKS “ok”. It SMELLS a bit “off” but better than I'd expected. My excitement level began to rise slightly again

In the spoon, it looked like chunks of big brown jello with bumpy foam. Excitement level plunges again. Note to self: It may be ok. You love coffee, you like'll be FINE!!

My husband, Dennis tried it.  

Here is how the conversation went once photos were taken:
Dennis: “Well, um...its not QUITE as bad as I thought it was going to be.”
Roz: “Are you going to finish it?”
Dennis: “Oh, hell no!”

Then it was my turn. 

It WAS as bad as I thought!!! OMG...this was GROSS!!! In texture, taste and looks. I WANTED to like it, I really did....but I couldn't. It was THAT bad. I can only imagine how horrible it must have been if I'd ACTUALLY used artificial sweetener, and how tastes may have changed since 1974.

BUT...there is always a silver lining to brown, foamy clouds!

It cleared our garbarator well.

Even a couple of tastes caffeinated me enough that I could stay up late and watch Craig Ferguson, who I love.

And when all else fails....throw some toys in, and call it a party!!!!

Mimi, thank you so much for the opportunity to make this hilariously awful recipe. To those readers who think “it can't be that bad”, well, YES it can. Do NOT, repeat NOT make this for human consumption. However, if you too need your garberator cleaned, you need to stay awake for hours or you have some toys that would look jaunty in foam and brown vomit....THIS is the recipe for you!!!!!

Please pop over to my blog . I assure you, you will NOT be traumatized by this recipe there any time soon!!!!

Thanks Mimi!


Elizabeth said...

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.....a recipe that accurately describes 1970's cuisine - vaguely carcinogenic and extremely disgusting.

Well done Roz - I was busted at work for laughing so hard!

Denise said...

This is hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Oh my God! Pain in my eyes! Why all letters are so small? Mimiiiii do something, to read at normal size!

Silvercat said...

Everytime I see the title, I think it to 'London Bye Ta-ta' by David Bowie...