Sunday, March 20, 2011

Don't Try This At Home

The other day, I came across a recipe in my 1966 Weight Watchers Cookbook that really gave me the creeps---and not in the usual "Thanks, but No Thanks" kinda way. This recipe had an inexplicable sinister quality that lured me in, and as soon as I conjured up this ancient Retro WW Recipe, I knew I had made a big mistake:


1/4 cup liquid squeezed from green or yellow cooked vegetable
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
2 teaspoons onion juice
1 clove garlic
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon paprika
2 teaspoon parsley

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Chill before serving.

I read the recipe many times over trying to determine just what to do with it.

Healthade. A beverage? A dressing? A sauce? A laxative? A magic potion?

For my first effort, I mixed it up in my cocktail shaker and poured it into in a martini glass. After one sip--I knew I had made the wrong decision.

I pondered my next move... Being very careful not to anger the Healthade.

Hmmmm. Maybe I could use it as a marinade for that chicken sitting in my fridge? But even as the idea popped into my head - I immediately vetoed it. I just couldn't bring myself to possibly ruin a perfectly good piece of poultry. Plus - that poor little chicken would have died in vain if my Healthade horror turned out to be a flop. And I just couldn't live with that guilt.

What to do? The Healthade was becoming impatient with me, and I think it was starting to sense my fear.

So I began to nervously to peruse the pantry for some ideas, and there it was right before my eyes! A can of bean sprouts. The perfect pairing for my Healthade! I poured the insidious liquid on top of the sprouts as gingerly as possible - careful not to taunt or disturb it.

The outcome seemed to please the Healthade. So I tasted it. A sudden wave of nausea fell upon me. Something just wasn't right. To avoid any further problems, I promptly dumped it right down the garbage disposal. Gone forever.

Or is it? *cue creepy music*

Thinking about making your own Healthade???

Warning: Clear your mind. It knows what scares you.


Georgia said...

Onion juice *and* liquid squeezed from cooked veg - what's the opposite of synergy?!?
Feeling vaguely ill just thinking about!
That's a recipe that can remain in the 1960s, me thinks...

Ms. Chunky Chick said...

You are so brave! That just made my skin crawl thinking about drinking it

Helen said...

I don't think I'll be replacing my Saturday night martini with Healthade any time soon.

Anonymous said...

You are a brave soul Mimi!!! What a fun post.

Ashley said...

oh. my. gosh! You are a brave, brave woman. Just reading the ingredients made my stomach turn. Yikes!

Amy said...


Jana said...

So much lemon juice! Horrifying.