Life of Pie

As I mentioned in my last post, there will be a HUGE Retro-Blogging Challenge at the end of June called "Pieathalon". This involves a bunch of Retro Food Bloggers each choosing a Vintage Pie Recipe which will then be randomly assigned to another blogger, and each blogger must then bake it and write a post about his/her assigned pie recipe.

Initially, I was really excited about this challenge.

Then I got my assignment, and realized: I have no clue how to bake a real pie.

No clue.

You see, I am a Retro Weight Watchers gal - and here is an example of the type of pies we make on the Retro Weight Watchers plan:

They don't have a crust. They don't have fillings or toppings. They really don't resemble a pie at all.

But they typically involve my two favorite ingredients in the world:

And they often contain instructions like:

"Top with dry milk sprinkled evenly", or

"Soften gelatin with beverage in pie pan", or

"Bake for 30 minutes. Pie will be browned but runny."

Seriously. What in the actual Hell?

Pie of Despair

So you will make this brown, runny pie. You will slice it up. It will be sad and very upsetting. You will tell yourself, "It's not that bad I guess". You will eat a few bites, and life will seem a little bit better.

You will then realize when you hold it up, it kind of resembles plastic vomit.

Be Honest. Would You EVER Eat This?

You will throw the rest of it in the trash, and just eat an apple.

This is how we do pie in the Retro Weight Watchers world.

I have no idea how to make a real pie. I don't even know where to begin. But something tells me it is going to be an emotional experience for us all.

Oh, and a special note to the blogger who was assigned my Retro WW "Pie" submission: I am so very sorry.